Tuesday, 26 May 2015

An open letter to the men who insulted me at Comic Con... Is Snow White supposed to be hot?


Hello everyone I have something a bit different for you readers today, a change in tone from my usual posts, but something that I thought was important to say non-the-less.

Last weekend I went to London Comic Con dressed as Snow White.

Looking neat before Comic Con
Some thoughtful ‘gentlemen’ insulted me from a distance so I thought I would write a letter so that could fully articulate my response.
Here it is:

Dear Men who shouted at me at Comic Con,

Yes you boys that insulted me as I walked past in my Snow White costume. You also sniggered when I turned around to see who had been making fun of me. I hope you are proud.

I just have a few things I need to say to you. I was sad that I couldn’t respond at the time, but by the time I had processed exactly what you had said I had been swept away in the quickly moving crowd. I was also afraid that I may shout at you, or cry, and I didn’t really feel like giving you the satisfaction of showing you how much your words hurt me. But congratulations they did.

I spent hours making that costume, I sewed it from scratch, I researched new techniques to help me put it together and I did hair and makeup trials to make sure everything was just the way I wanted it. I was so proud of my hard work and I was feeling so good about what I had achieved. I didn’t realise that all that good feeling would be so easily spoiled by your throw-away comment: ‘Isn’t Snow White supposed to be hot?’

Is Snow White meant to be hot? Serious question...
Now I don’t know if I am shallow or silly but I was really taken aback by this random verbal assault. I straight away thought ‘Am I ugly?’ Despite the fact I had previously been told how beautiful I looked by a very sweet lady who served us food. My thoughts very quickly moved from a general ugliness to my biggest insecurity - it’s because I’m fat - and you can't have a hot bod if your fat right?

That had to be it, I was too plus size to be a hot Snow White because Snow White is petite with a tiny waist not a 5’7’’ size 14 woman. Right? I’m sure it was meant to be a silly comment, something for a giggle, not to be taken seriously. But it made me feel terrible about myself, it even made me wish I hadn’t eaten the delicious takoyaki for my lunch.

I am aware that I am projecting a certain amount of my own insecurities onto this situation, but isn't that exactly what a comment like this does? It reaches deep inside of you and gnaws at your perceived imperfections. That is why it can be so damaging.

Maybe as UK size 14 I do not fit the typical ideal of the ‘hot’ woman, or heck, even if you think I am completely fugly why should I have to fit in with your ideals of what is hot or not. I can wear what I want. I don’t define myself by what you think is hot. Why should I have to strive to meet your beauty standards? (see #effyourbeautystandards for more on that).

What really infuriates me is that I feel so bad about being upset over a hurtful thing you said? Why do I feel so responsible for my non-hotness. Why do I feel so guilty for feeling insulted? Its only a small thing, I'm not hot, so what, yet it still hurts.

Having said all this, it has also occurred to me that perhaps you don’t actually know what the traditional Disney Snow White looks like? If you google Snow White costume, the majority of costumes available tobuy have tiny skirts (like so many of the costumes available to women these days). Perhaps you don’t realise that Snow White actually has a fairly high neckline and a long skirt? My costume was designed for accuracy, it was meant to be a replica of the design from the film. It was not made to be sexy, but more elegant and regal. Surely you can appreciate the craftsmanship in that?  
Disney's Snow White
 Or perhaps you just think it is a woman’s job to look sexy for you?

I left comic con feeling rather down and in a fluctuating mental state. It was only once I was far away that I could appreciate the more disturbing implications of your thoughts on hotness.

Snow White is a folk tale from the 18th century about a girl, not a woman, a girl who is OFICIALLY 14 years old. She it meant to be fair and beautiful yes, but she is also sweet, shy and naïve, and certainly too young to be hot in the way you are suggesting. So sorry if my Snow White costume wasn’t hot enough for you. But with the information above I think it is very clear who actually has the problem defining what should or should not be hot.

Finally, I just wanted to add that I find you revolting. Firstly for your limited view on the female form, secondly for your disrespect for the craft of cosplay and lastly for your inability to keep your mouth shut when a nasty thought pops into your mind. If something similar happens to you in future can I politely request that you take some advice from another 1930s Disney film?


Yours sincerely,

The Not Hot Snow White

19 comments:

  1. It makes me sick to read how those guys treated you. You look completely amazing as Snow White, and I am so sorry that they didn't see that.

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    1. What's really frustrating is that I know if I said anything to them, they would probably say I overreacted or took it too personally :(

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  2. Your outfit turned out great and you look BEAUTIFUL in it. Good for you for speaking/blogging out.

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    1. Thanks, I like the term 'blogging out' its so much better than 'having a rant'!

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  3. I really hate people. You look amazing AND stunning. They should be ashamed of themselves for being such asshats.

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    1. Yeah me too sometimes, it was like when you get a troll on something you have written online, but in real life. It totally threw me. Not that I am condoning being a troll on the net eiither! I really appreciate the support :)

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  4. You look wonderful and your costume is phenomenal all made by hand! It's a skill I wish I had. But it's good you blogged it out of your system nothing worse than letting things gnaw away at you. Ignore these fools and keep making fantastic costumes. x

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    1. Thank you so much :) I think if I'm putting myself out there I will have to learn to ignore this type of thing. I just feel its a shame I have to be more thick skinned.

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  5. I think you made a lovely Snow White. People can really be so idiotic and thoughtless sometimes. I would've felt just as hurt and bothered, and I think your post is fantastic. As a fellow 5'7" size 14 girl, their standards of "hot" can suck it :)

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    1. YES! Beauty comes in so many shapes and sizes. I really appreciate hearing that I'm not silly for feeling hurt.

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  6. 'Snow White' and 'hot' are never two things that I have put into the same sentence. When I think of Snow White I think of sweetness and innocence, and I think you absolutely nailed her outfit! I know it's easier said than done, but don't let the haters get you down! Snow White is probably too advanced for their IQ's anyhow <3

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    1. Agreed and that was what I was aiming for (albeit a slightly older version...). I've got to just accept that haters gonna hate.

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  7. First of all, no, I don't think Snow White is "supposed to be hot!" I'm pretty sure that's NOT what Disney had in mind when they made the movie. In any case those guys were such jerks, I just can't believe how some people think it's ok to say things like that. You look amazing, and the fact that you spent so much time and effort making the outfit yourself is really something to be respected!

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    1. No, I don't think that's what the Disney team were going for either. But even if they did think that, they should learn to keep their mouths shut. I am really grateful for your kind words about my costume :)

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  8. Oh dear, stupid jerks, Snow White is definitely not supposed to be "hot". I bet those guys have only seen some pornographic "snow white" costumes and think it is the right way to dress up as the character.. Your costume is perfect and you are BEAUTIFUL <3

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    1. I think you are right, those tiny skirt, bend over and reveal everything costumes have a lot to answer for on that! Thank's so much for your kind words though :)

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  9. I think you are a beautiful person inside and out, close minded immature people will never see past superficiality, and its so sad for them. I think your snow white is amazing and while most think these costumes can be bought they do not know the blood, sweat and tears that go into a great cosplay. Keep doing you girl, you have a greatat attitude, we need more people like you in the world!

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  10. Ugh. I wish I had been there to give those douche nozzles the tongue lashing they deserve. How cowardly and narrow-minded to reduce their appreciation of your hard work to whether or not they'd bang you. Gross, immature and totally self-absorbed. You look gorgeous and your hard work and attention to detail are evident to anyone over the mental age of 8. Keep on rocking your bad self.

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  11. Good for you!
    From a female point of view I think you look stunning, I'm aware that's not the point of this post and not necessarily what you're looking for, but I just wanted to say. Too much of cosplay has become centred around looking sexy with the smallest amount of clothing possible.
    And personally I much rather have your talent than a size 8 body, I know which one would be more useful in life, and I've seen myself and others at this size, and we look like adverts for eating disorders. I'm trying to work up the courage to make my first ever proper costume at the moment, and I'm so scared, which means that the process of making it is almost certainly going to put me up a dress size!
    Remind yourself that you really ought to feel sorry for them, they've been so influenced by media that they think that Barbie is the ideal, preferably with her personality as well. Congrats on a gorgeous costume and I know it's easy to say but don't let that memory tarnish something that looked amazing.

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