An open letter to the men who insulted me at Comic Con... Is Snow White supposed to be hot?

Hello everyone I have something a bit different for you readers today, a change in tone from my usual posts, but something that I thought was important to say non-the-less.

Last weekend I went to London Comic Con dressed as Snow White.

Looking neat before Comic Con

Some thoughtful ‘gentlemen’ insulted me from a distance so I thought I would write a letter so that could fully articulate my response.

Here it is:

Dear Men who shouted at me at Comic Con,

Yes you boys that insulted me as I walked past in my Snow White costume. You also sniggered when I turned around to see who had been making fun of me. I hope you are proud.

I just have a few things I need to say to you. I was sad that I couldn’t respond at the time, but by the time I had processed exactly what you had said I had been swept away in the quickly moving crowd. I was also afraid that I may shout at you, or cry, and I didn’t really feel like giving you the satisfaction of showing you how much your words hurt me. But congratulations they did.

I spent hours making that costume, I sewed it from scratch, I researched new techniques to help me put it together and I did hair and makeup trials to make sure everything was just the way I wanted it. I was so proud of my hard work and I was feeling so good about what I had achieved. I didn’t realise that all that good feeling would be so easily spoiled by your throw-away comment: ‘Isn’t Snow White supposed to be hot?’

Is Snow White meant to be hot? Serious question...

Now I don’t know if I am shallow or silly but I was really taken aback by this random verbal assault. I straight away thought ‘Am I ugly?’ Despite the fact I had previously been told how beautiful I looked by a very sweet lady who served us food. My thoughts very quickly moved from a general ugliness to my biggest insecurity - it’s because I’m fat - and you can't have a hot bod if your fat right?

That had to be it, I was too plus size to be a hot Snow White because Snow White is petite with a tiny waist not a 5’7’’ size 14 woman. Right? I’m sure it was meant to be a silly comment, something for a giggle, not to be taken seriously. But it made me feel terrible about myself, it even made me wish I hadn’t eaten the delicious takoyaki for my lunch.

I am aware that I am projecting a certain amount of my own insecurities onto this situation, but isn't that exactly what a comment like this does? It reaches deep inside of you and gnaws at your perceived imperfections. That is why it can be so damaging.

Maybe as UK size 14 I do not fit the typical ideal of the ‘hot’ woman, or heck, even if you think I am completely fugly why should I have to fit in with your ideals of what is hot or not. I can wear what I want. I don’t define myself by what you think is hot. Why should I have to strive to meet your beauty standards? (see #effyourbeautystandards for more on that).

What really infuriates me is that I feel so bad about being upset over a hurtful thing you said? Why do I feel so responsible for my non-hotness. Why do I feel so guilty for feeling insulted? Its only a small thing, I'm not hot, so what, yet it still hurts.

Having said all this, it has also occurred to me that perhaps you don’t actually know what the traditional Disney Snow White looks like? If you google Snow White costume, the majority of costumes available tobuy have tiny skirts (like so many of the costumes available to women these days). Perhaps you don’t realise that Snow White actually has a fairly high neckline and a long skirt? My costume was designed for accuracy, it was meant to be a replica of the design from the film. It was not made to be sexy, but more elegant and regal. Surely you can appreciate the craftsmanship in that?  

Disney's Snow White

 Or perhaps you just think it is a woman’s job to look sexy for you?

I left comic con feeling rather down and in a fluctuating mental state. It was only once I was far away that I could appreciate the more disturbing implications of your thoughts on hotness.

Snow White is a folk tale from the 18^th century about a girl, not a woman, a girl who is OFICIALLY 14 years old. She it meant to be fair and beautiful yes, but she is also sweet, shy and naïve, and certainly too young to be hot in the way you are suggesting. So sorry if my Snow White costume wasn’t hot enough for you. But with the information above I think it is very clear who actually has the problem defining what should or should not be hot.

Finally, I just wanted to add that I find you revolting. Firstly for your limited view on the female form, secondly for your disrespect for the craft of cosplay and lastly for your inability to keep your mouth shut when a nasty thought pops into your mind. If something similar happens to you in future can I politely request that you take some advice from another 1930s Disney film?

Yours sincerely,

The Not Hot Snow White