Hello everyone I have something a bit different for you
readers today, a change in tone from my usual posts, but something that I
thought was important to say non-the-less.
Last weekend I went to London Comic Con dressed as Snow
White.
Looking neat before Comic Con |
Some thoughtful ‘gentlemen’ insulted me from a distance
so I thought I would write a letter so that could fully articulate my response.
Here it is:
Dear Men who shouted at me at Comic Con,
Yes you boys that insulted me as I walked past in my Snow
White costume. You also sniggered when I turned around to see who had been
making fun of me. I hope you are proud.
I just have a few things I need to say to you. I was sad
that I couldn’t respond at the time, but by the time I had processed exactly
what you had said I had been swept away in the quickly moving crowd. I was also
afraid that I may shout at you, or cry, and I didn’t really feel like giving
you the satisfaction of showing you how much your words hurt me. But
congratulations they did.
I spent hours making that costume, I sewed it from scratch,
I researched new techniques to help me put it together and I did hair and
makeup trials to make sure everything was just the way I wanted it. I was so
proud of my hard work and I was feeling so good about what I had achieved. I
didn’t realise that all that good feeling would be so easily spoiled by your
throw-away comment: ‘Isn’t Snow White supposed to be hot?’
Is Snow White meant to be hot? Serious question... |
Now I don’t know if I am shallow or silly but I was really
taken aback by this random verbal assault. I straight away thought ‘Am I ugly?’
Despite the fact I had previously been told how beautiful I looked by a very
sweet lady who served us food. My thoughts very quickly moved from a general ugliness to my biggest insecurity - it’s
because I’m fat - and you can't have a hot bod if your fat right?
That had to be it, I was too
plus size to be a hot Snow White because Snow White is petite with a tiny waist
not a 5’7’’ size 14 woman. Right? I’m sure it was meant to be a silly comment,
something for a giggle, not to be taken seriously. But it made me feel terrible
about myself, it even made me wish I hadn’t eaten the delicious takoyaki for my
lunch.
I am aware that I am projecting a certain amount of my own insecurities onto this situation, but isn't that exactly what a comment like this does? It reaches deep inside of you and gnaws at your perceived imperfections. That is why it can be so damaging.
Maybe as UK size 14 I do not fit the typical ideal of the
‘hot’ woman, or heck, even if you think I am completely fugly why should I have to fit in with your ideals of what is hot or
not. I can wear what I want. I don’t define myself by what you think is hot. Why
should I have to strive to meet your beauty standards? (see
#effyourbeautystandards for more on that).
What really infuriates me is that I feel so bad about being
upset over a hurtful thing you said? Why do I feel so responsible for my
non-hotness. Why do I feel so guilty for feeling insulted? Its only a small thing, I'm not hot, so what, yet it still hurts.
Having said all this, it has also occurred to me that
perhaps you don’t actually know what the traditional Disney Snow White looks
like? If you google Snow White costume, the majority of costumes available tobuy have tiny skirts (like so many of the costumes available to women these
days). Perhaps you don’t realise that Snow White actually has a fairly high
neckline and a long skirt? My costume was designed for accuracy, it was meant
to be a replica of the design from the film. It was not made to be sexy, but
more elegant and regal. Surely you can appreciate the craftsmanship in that?
Disney's Snow White |
Or perhaps you just think it is a woman’s job to look sexy
for you?
I left comic con feeling rather down and in a fluctuating
mental state. It was only once I was far away that I could appreciate the more
disturbing implications of your thoughts on hotness.
Snow White is a folk tale from the 18th century
about a girl, not a woman, a girl who is OFICIALLY 14 years old. She it meant
to be fair and beautiful yes, but she is also sweet, shy and naïve, and certainly
too young to be hot in the way you are suggesting. So sorry if my Snow White
costume wasn’t hot enough for you. But with the information above I think it is
very clear who actually has the problem defining what should or should not be hot.
Finally, I just wanted to add that I find you revolting. Firstly for your limited view on the
female form, secondly for your disrespect for the craft of cosplay and lastly
for your inability to keep your mouth shut when a nasty thought pops into your
mind. If something similar happens to you in future can I politely request that you take some
advice from another 1930s Disney film?
Yours sincerely,
The Not Hot Snow White
It makes me sick to read how those guys treated you. You look completely amazing as Snow White, and I am so sorry that they didn't see that.
ReplyDeleteWhat's really frustrating is that I know if I said anything to them, they would probably say I overreacted or took it too personally :(
DeleteYour outfit turned out great and you look BEAUTIFUL in it. Good for you for speaking/blogging out.
ReplyDeleteThanks, I like the term 'blogging out' its so much better than 'having a rant'!
DeleteYou look wonderful and your costume is phenomenal all made by hand! It's a skill I wish I had. But it's good you blogged it out of your system nothing worse than letting things gnaw away at you. Ignore these fools and keep making fantastic costumes. x
ReplyDeleteThank you so much :) I think if I'm putting myself out there I will have to learn to ignore this type of thing. I just feel its a shame I have to be more thick skinned.
DeleteI think you made a lovely Snow White. People can really be so idiotic and thoughtless sometimes. I would've felt just as hurt and bothered, and I think your post is fantastic. As a fellow 5'7" size 14 girl, their standards of "hot" can suck it :)
ReplyDeleteYES! Beauty comes in so many shapes and sizes. I really appreciate hearing that I'm not silly for feeling hurt.
Delete'Snow White' and 'hot' are never two things that I have put into the same sentence. When I think of Snow White I think of sweetness and innocence, and I think you absolutely nailed her outfit! I know it's easier said than done, but don't let the haters get you down! Snow White is probably too advanced for their IQ's anyhow <3
ReplyDeleteAgreed and that was what I was aiming for (albeit a slightly older version...). I've got to just accept that haters gonna hate.
DeleteFirst of all, no, I don't think Snow White is "supposed to be hot!" I'm pretty sure that's NOT what Disney had in mind when they made the movie. In any case those guys were such jerks, I just can't believe how some people think it's ok to say things like that. You look amazing, and the fact that you spent so much time and effort making the outfit yourself is really something to be respected!
ReplyDeleteNo, I don't think that's what the Disney team were going for either. But even if they did think that, they should learn to keep their mouths shut. I am really grateful for your kind words about my costume :)
DeleteOh dear, stupid jerks, Snow White is definitely not supposed to be "hot". I bet those guys have only seen some pornographic "snow white" costumes and think it is the right way to dress up as the character.. Your costume is perfect and you are BEAUTIFUL <3
ReplyDeleteI think you are right, those tiny skirt, bend over and reveal everything costumes have a lot to answer for on that! Thank's so much for your kind words though :)
DeleteYeah me too sometimes, it was like when you get a troll on something you have written online, but in real life. It totally threw me. Not that I am condoning being a troll on the net eiither! I really appreciate the support :)
ReplyDeleteI think you are a beautiful person inside and out, close minded immature people will never see past superficiality, and its so sad for them. I think your snow white is amazing and while most think these costumes can be bought they do not know the blood, sweat and tears that go into a great cosplay. Keep doing you girl, you have a greatat attitude, we need more people like you in the world!
ReplyDeleteUgh. I wish I had been there to give those douche nozzles the tongue lashing they deserve. How cowardly and narrow-minded to reduce their appreciation of your hard work to whether or not they'd bang you. Gross, immature and totally self-absorbed. You look gorgeous and your hard work and attention to detail are evident to anyone over the mental age of 8. Keep on rocking your bad self.
ReplyDeleteGood for you!
ReplyDeleteFrom a female point of view I think you look stunning, I'm aware that's not the point of this post and not necessarily what you're looking for, but I just wanted to say. Too much of cosplay has become centred around looking sexy with the smallest amount of clothing possible.
And personally I much rather have your talent than a size 8 body, I know which one would be more useful in life, and I've seen myself and others at this size, and we look like adverts for eating disorders. I'm trying to work up the courage to make my first ever proper costume at the moment, and I'm so scared, which means that the process of making it is almost certainly going to put me up a dress size!
Remind yourself that you really ought to feel sorry for them, they've been so influenced by media that they think that Barbie is the ideal, preferably with her personality as well. Congrats on a gorgeous costume and I know it's easy to say but don't let that memory tarnish something that looked amazing.